Thursday, February 22, 2007

Aphorisms (realization of 2.8.2007)

Fluxus-artists of the world, now is the time for action! To-days art has lost it's usefulness and must be rejected in favor of a new order. Consider the following:

-Length is no measure of Art.
-The piano has outlived its usefulness.
-nobody writes manifestos anymore except for nut-jobs like the unibomber.
-If not alienating the audience means writing Rimsky-Korsakov inspired film scores and doing overly-complicated orchestrations of Dark Side of the Moon, then I proudly wear the title Jackass.
-Apathy is the vomit of the Gods
-In this day and age, tonality is a crutch for the feeble-minded.
-Musical quotation is an attempt by composers to procrastinate creativity.
-Modern Art Appreciation has degraded into a popularity contest, and sadly most artists would prefer the notoriety of a reality series over quality.
-(on modern artists): A generation of editors.


Performance is not exempted from this form of thinking:

Blow the fucking shit out of it man and don’t give a fucking inch and let’em know you are back there and that you don’t give a damn about their tempermental prima donna horseshit attitudes because you are a low brass player and that means you have to fuckin’ nail it to the wall and to do that you got to be a real fucking man, with a chin and that means you’re gonna’ by-God nail and plow and log and wahf and drag and push and "lead the whole damn section" through every part no matter what it is - Mozart or Mahler (Hell, they’re all the same ain’t they-besides, "a fortsado is a fortsado") and if they don’t like it they can by-God find another player because you don’t need their damn money and that those sissy-ass conductors and tin-eared string players (those turds "think" they can hear the grass grow) and the damn twiddly-dink woodwind pickers that are so sure that all low brass players want to play loud all the time CAN JUST KISS YOUR ASS and if they don’t want to pay you double-fucking scale they can simply get screwed for all you care ‘cause they couldn’t replace you with a player 1⁄2 as good and to just stick that bloody contract up their aristocratic assholes ‘cause if they don’t appreciate a big fucking sound with some body and breadth and projection and carrying power that you don’t want any part of this orchestra (such shitty management anyway) and to take the whole symphony society and shove it ‘cause you’re fed up with this amateur bullshit and to come across with some real bread or fuck-off or they’ll be huntin’ another player and that you’ve got a million other offers and that you’ve got no problem playing the horn because YOU CAN FUCKING READ!!!!!!

(realization of 2.8.2007, a Fluxus-inspired work, the score of which appears here on Sonic Event)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Marisa Davis mdavis2@su.edu said...

you should quote your quotations, especially those of fabulous teachers such as Madame Nadia Boulanger...

8/06/2007 9:21 PM  
Blogger Kristian Twombly said...

Marisa - this manifesto is a collection of lines that I gathered from emails sent to selected friends. Was one (or more) a quotation of Boulanger?

8/09/2007 2:32 PM  

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